Why everyone should Have a bucket list

As I approach fifty, I am only partway to being fulfilled.  I have three beautiful children that make me so proud and a life lived, full of the good, the bad and the ugly.  I am grateful that I have the experience to share and the knowledge and wisdom that only comes with age. But I also have a life insurance policy that expires before I reach the Government’s current age of retirement!

I am a daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, ex-wife, home-owner, animal lover and entrepreneur.  So yes, I have lived but I am nearly 50 years old and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up!  I thought that would have happened by the time I was 30 and then 40.  But no, I still seem to be searching for something.

We must live before we lose our mind

I remember a conversation that I had with a sales rep over a glass of wine, after hours.  He was a bit of a free-spirit and we were mulling over the fact that as adults, we lose our way, our quest for life – we stop asking “why” like we did when we were young.  Something happens to us as adults and we stop questioning everything and just merrily conform to society’s expectations.

The rep, who will remain nameless, (due to the fact that I actually don’t remember his name), suggested that his father had been a bit of a player in his heyday.  The father had also been a salesman and reportedly had a different woman waiting for him in every town, he played hard and could tell some stories that would make your eyes water!  We surmised that he probably had a lot to smile about as he re-lived the past and we joked that the rep might have some long lost siblings knocking on the door one day!

He said his father was in a care home suffering with the debilitating effects of dementia, meaning he was not fully present much of the time.  The rep was saddened by the fact that his dad, more often than not did not recognise family members and was often confused.  But there was solace in the fact that his dad could regularly be found smiling or chuckling to himself as he sat alone in his room, with only thoughts for company.

We got to discussing how the end was probably easier for this father locked in with the memories of his seductive past, and how perhaps we should be more like him, more risque and living in pursuit of memories made from mischief so that we too would have something to smile about when our brain and body aged beyond usefulness.

Of course, in my naivety,  I failed to realise that the rep was actually making a move on me and suggesting in this roundabout way that we should make mischief together!!  Once I realised his game, I soon put an end to any of those thoughts by gently showing him the door.

Although I had no strings, it hadn’t been long since my husband had left us and I was not in the mood to be getting sexy – I hadn’t yet reached that point in my rehabilitation back to singledom.  Plus, this rep was married with two young children and having experienced first hand the devastation of infidelity, I was never going down that path. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy!

I don’t think of him but I do often think of that conversation we had.  It leads me to think about when I stopped being curious and whether I will have enough happy and mischievous memories to fill any alone time in my later life.  And I don’t think I do! The more I consider the risk of dementia the more I feel that more cheeky memories are required. As I don’t remember his name, dementia may have already set in, so I need to work on cheeky memory-making urgently!

I wish... The biggest regret of every dying man and woman

When Gary Vaynerchuk spoke to people aged in their 80s, to seek their mature wisdom, he did not expect the most common theme to be regret.  “I Wish… (I did / I tried)……… (fill-in). We rarely regret the things we did, but it would appear that we will live to regret the things we didn’t do or the things we wished we did.  

The more I look over my life, the easier it is to remember the bad memories, the ones that ungrounded me, and whilst I am grateful that they got me to where I am today, I think it’s about time that I created some playful memories so that I too can be that little oldie in the corner of the care home chuckling to myself!  Belly laughing!

How to write a bucket list

When I first joined my mentorship programme with the Six Figure Mentors back in 2014, one of our personal development tasks was to create a bucket list with 100 items.  I dutifully wrote as many as I could think of. But the thing with bucket lists is that you don’t know what you don’t know and there is a whole wide world out there with opportunities that I have never even heard of, so how does one go about creating a bucket list?

Sure I have some wishes for myself, but the time comes in everyone’s life to take the list out of the bucket and add and actually go and do some fun stuff. To be honest, my original list wasn’t all that inspiring, to say it was predictable was an understatement,  So what if I could say I’d done those things, so what if I shared them with someone or did them on my own. They were in the main material things – they weren’t memories that would make me chuckle never mind belly laugh. 

I bet there are things on my list that are on every bucket list and never get ticked off.  Somethings require time or money and others, well they really do not.  The items that I listed were achievements, but my whole life I’ve been trying to achieve, and it hasn’t made me any happier. Sure I have a lot to smile about, but where are bliss and joy? Where is mischief? So my additions for my 50th birthday included things way way outside my comfort zone.

If you are making your bucket list, my best advice is this. If you are sitting in that retirement home, where it stinks of wee, and everybody shouts because they think everyone over seventy is deaf (which they most definitely are not), or if you are on your death bed, (which can happen at any age), what will you regret not doing?

You know up until this point in my life, I had never had a one night stand.  I was nearly fifty, and I had only ever had four lovers. I only ever did long-term – I had no idea what the walk of shame was.  Could I die not knowing? How did one even go about getting a one night stand? And so the bucket list evolved to include mischief as one idea led to another.

The things I added

First I added…

1. Have a one night stand 

And then, being the anxious planner I am, I added a few more things to help get me there…

2. Create a dating site profile (OR 3)

3. Go on a blind date

Which led to:

4. Weight loss to 50Kg

5. Join a Gym

6. Join a Yoga Class

And then my mind started to wander, thanks in part to the fantasizing of how sexy I would look after shedding two stone and thanks in part to the (at the time) trending Shades of Grey trilogy, and also to a renewed and an unfulfilled curiosity…

7. Experience BDSM

8. Have a professional photo session

9. Experience Naturism

10. Experience Swinging

11. Experience Shibari – the art of knot tying

12. Visit Amsterdam

13. Get a tattoo

14. Write and publish an erotica story

15. Attend a masquerade ball

16. Learn to tango (currently taking classes).

At some point, my good girl conscience must have kicked in and decided to balance the devil vs angel ledger because then I got to thinking what else should I regret if I didn’t try these things at least once.  And so I added… 

17. Donate Blood

18. Raise money for charity

19. Parachute jump

And to inspire others…

20. Run a half marathon

21. Publish 50 blog posts

22. Write a book

23. Publish a book

24. Sell 50 books

25. Speak in public

Now there is so much to do and so little time and I’m well on the way to having 100 hundred things on my bucket list.  Some that will leave a legacy that others may thank me for, and some that I will be able to re-live and chuckle at the memory of.

It may seem selfish to write a bucket list and find time to do everything on it but, if your life really does flash before our eyes when the end comes, not sure about you but I want it to be a movie worth watching! 

Still not quite 100 – hopefully you will do better.  In the meantime, I have made an agreement with myself that every birthday I will re-visit my bucket list and add something to the fun mischievous section – though so far, this is resulting in the list getting longer and I should really do something about checking some more items off!

Oh.  You read this far down the page because you want an update on some of those crossed off items in the mischievous section, do you? 😉 Ah well, if they are clickable links (hover over those that are crossed through), they will take you to my journal where you can revel in my mischief and get some ideas for your own!

So what will you put on your bucket list?  Please do let me know how you get on in the comments below or in the private WAD Facebook Group.

My Original bucket list

Not really chuckle-worthy, but I would like to do them…

  1. Go on safari
  2. Learn to drive a horse carriage
  3. Go and watch point-to-point horse racing
  4. Go to an opera
  5. Make a more sustainable life
  6. Learn to be a beekeeper
  7. Visit elephant rescue sanctuary
  8. Buy a villa in the sun for girly breaks
  9. Learn to ski properly
  10. Go husky sledging 
  11. Carriage ride in Central Park NY
  12. Learn how to play my cornet
  13. Inspire others
  14. Live a millionaire lifestyle
  15. Be pampered regularly
  16. Employ a colourist/coach for style
  17. Attend a celebrity function
  18. Attend a charity auction
  19. Build my own garden wall
  20. Travel to Lapland to see Father Christmas
  21. Learn to fly a plane 
  22. Shop at Harrods
  23. Travel on the Orient Express
  24. Treat my family to a holiday
  25. Drive an electric car
  26. Watch my children grow up
  27. Give 10% of all my profits to charity
  28. Help my children and grandchildren with their big purchases (house car etc)
  29. Attract and retain partner of my dreams
  30. Become a National Trust Member
  31. Take three holidays in one year
  32. Invest in a pension
  33. Plan for my old age/death, so I am not a burden to my children
  34. Extend the house / buy another / more land/neighbour’s house?
  35. Visit London for shows and dancing
  36. Make 50 YouTube videos
  37. Get 50 social media followers on all my business accounts
  38. Get 50,000 followers
  39. Get First 50 subscribers
  40. Get First 50 leads
  41. Spend my first £50 on advertising
  42. Make my first 50 sales
  43. Make my first £5,000 sales
  44. Go to a Shakespeare outdoor play
  45. Go up Weymouth tower
  46. Host my first Live webinar
  47. Become an Amazon affiliate
  48. Prepare the garden for village open gardens day
  49. Employ a VA
  50. Run first paid marketing workshop
  51. See the Northern Lights – stay in a glass-domed hotel
  52. Visit Iceland
  53. Visit China
  54. Visit New Zealand
  55. Visit ice hotel in Russia
  56. Take a cruise
  57. Tour Scotland
  58. Visit Brownsea Island
  59. Create a private gym space, with hot tub
  60. Create a garden office

Read all of the tales from the ashes of the Dorset Phoenix here

Learn how to create a life and business that you love...

My mentors’ programme encouraged me to create a bucket list. They are very heavily focussed in midset and the supportive community inspire me to work on myself every day.  I joined them to find marketing training to help market a new business but it wasn’t long before I started to find things out about myself that I did not know. If it were not for their personal development challenges, I would not have discovered the perspective that others see of me. Now I get it! I have so much more confidence, and this very programme is responsible for unleashing the writer in me, which I always knew was there but never fulfilled as I struggle to be vulnerable.

You may not be a writer but if you are interested in joining me and having a go at finding that peace of mind and putting some money in the bank to help you fulfil your bucket list, then click the link to take a look at the free video series for an education to learn how to make money online* or to help develop your own business.  It’s not a scam I promise.  It’s completely free and you will be joining a  community of like-minded people so you will never feel alone, and I will be doing this with you!  It’s not all about blogging, though I bet you too have some great stories of your divorce; but there are opportunities to join become an Amazon Seller, Vlogger, Digital Marketer, Affiliate Marketer or a Trainer with whatever passion you have.

For the past five years, I have been making a living by putting my training to use as a social media marketer, working with small businesses.  I’ve been self-employed for so long now, I’m not sure I could go back to working for a boss!  No selling to friends, no holding stock, no MLM. Just an eye-opening education to work from anywhere in the world – perfect for anyone serious about their bucket list and you don’t need any special skills or equipment – just a willingness to learn, a mobile phone and laptop or computer. 

*Not guaranteed results. The effort you put in is what will make or break your particular success levels and results vary with individuals.


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